the step he took no longer i recognised. could he hold on for a little longer, i know he was done waiting for it, but so did I. but i guess im right, cause he never know. he never bother to ask and tell me more. you're a selfish bas.....   i no longer know him, for he has a little secret he kept from me for all this time. and yet....... it really is hurt to know and see it now. for ive been keeping this from him.

and i've been waking up to the nightmare i recognised for almost six years, no i don't called seeing him in my dream, a nightmare. but its just hurt to see him there, not able to really talk to him, could he come again to disheartened this heart. but he came with the same smile every time we've met and every time he asked me to stay. but this time, he was indeed happy and brought roses. all of this crap, i need not to believe. but...... could he not vanish from me.

*sigh*

i hate it. i deserved to feel this way though  I let it happened myself. back into the realm of despondency. and the heart is stirred. the little light of happiness always hunt me back, everywhere, should I suffer enough of these. 

i need to forget just this, cause it really do hurt. knowing of just saving her.